Let's Be Honest

I seriously doubt I'll ever start properly writing again. I keep staring at the clock hoping I can stay up just a few minutes longer and I start messing with the template on blogger. I might like the new features on it, but I'm not sure I'll like the template designs. What happens to my old templates? What happens to all the features I had on my old blogs. Nothing if I don't do anything to them I know that much, but there's so much I wanted to do to clean them up.

No matter. The point is that I'm starting back writing again. I have to loosen my fingers, loosen my thoughts and loosen my morals again. That's what it's about. It's about not caring what anyone thinks. Not giving a shit that I misspell this or curse at that. I think that's all that matters in life and I've always thought I lived that way, but it seems that I don't.

I've been told I'm uptight. That I care what other people think too much. I didn't really know this about myself. So...little by little I'll start making changes here and there. I've already become more open and social at work. Not by much mind you, but people actually will come up to me and *gasp* hug me. I'm okay with it. I can deal with it. I can cope and adjust as well as the next person.

Yes I can. ... *sigh*

I've been told I bitch and moan constantly. Is that really a problem when people make it so easy to bitch and moan at. I mean seriously? Can you not put on some coffee when you just took the last cup? Can you not do your job without being told how to do it? Can you please just give me the paperwork I fucking asked you for 5 times? Can you please clean the house when you sit here 4 days off and 3 days on 7 days a week for the past few months and only because you just FINALLY got a part time job?????

Shit. ... That was a bad sentence. FUCK IT! *hiccup*

I've noticed I'll hiccup just once or twice out of nowhere. That can't be good. I've been doing that for a few months now and it's becoming more frequent. Then again. I've stopped smoking and am chewing gum like a cow at pasture. That means CONSTANTLY!

Sometimes I hate my life. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes it's a little of both.

Bed time.